Hard Work Pays Off.

Yesterday, five years worth of hard work finally gave me something extremely personal that I’ve craved for a very long time.. What I do as a Blogger was acknowledged as being significant.  The Alpha invite to Warlords isn’t my first, but the difference this time was, as the initial wave of invitees checked mail and discovered their access, I was among them. This is the kind of validation that rarely happens for me, and it means more than actually having the game to write about. Because, you see, nothing is EVER a given. You can never assume that you’re good enough for anything, because the moment you do the person you are fundamentally changes.

I’ve watched a lot of people react to events in the last day or so, and it reminds me of many things. Just because you assume someone’s important to you doesn’t mean they are to anyone else. Being in the right place at the right time is pretty essential for progression anywhere these days, and the adage ‘it’s not what you know but who’ should never, EVER be understated. What makes all of this all the more bittersweet for me are the events of the last couple of weeks in reference to Blizzard’s stance on social progression in gaming, an attitude that has been enough to drive many people away (quite justifiably) in disgust. It boils down, it seems to me, to a number of factors. If your enjoyment is derived by certain criteria being met and one of those is the moral fibre of the people driving the design ethos, then it will be enough to eventually force you away. My problem, and it is that I suspect for many, is the enthusiasm I have for this game may wax and wane, but it never goes out.

In fact, this is the most enthusiastic I’ve been about an Expansion since the one on which it is modelled was first released.

My Brane, this week.

To keep everything balanced is hard work. However, as time has gone on it has become increasingly apparent that if I’m going to stay sane, immersion in a virtual world is actually the absolute last thing I want. I stayed up to 2am this morning not because I was compelled, but because I knew I needed to have a working Client for the morning so I could capture video and images for blogging. This has become a job for me, one I do garner a small wage from, but the modus operandi is the same. I am looking forward, trying to think the next move, working out what needs to be done in two separate time zones. I revel in the ability to piece together things that don’t seem to connect but will in time. I love it when I’m able to work out what’s going on without having to refer to someone else’s Guide. This morning I streamed Twitch for the first time ever, on my own, and I had TWELVE people watching me. Seriously, I’m flabbergasted I could even manage one, let alone break double figures. It makes me realise that actually anything is possible if I decide to put my mind to it.

It is also a salutatory reminder, after I allowed myself to be baited and trolled last night, that my destiny needs to remain very much in my own hands. I can choose to stand or walk away, and pick my moments, where as before I would inevitably be dictated to and have nowhere to go. I am no longer a victim, this is my path, and it is fabulous. However, the validation does matter, not because it suggests that I’m some kind of significant force in anything. It just proves to me this is the right way forward, because if it wasn’t no-one would give a damn. I realise I need to be honest with everyone, and in the end I’d rather that was the way it was. I’ve watched lots of people react to NOT being part of this first wave of testers and frankly, some of it wasn’t very pretty at all, which is odd, because many of these people don’t seem to really care that much about the game at present anyway. In fact, not being invited to play it is just another reason why Blizzard are the evil axis of doom that they clearly were right up to the point where people stopped enjoying themselves and needed something to blame.

Who am I kidding. I don’t have a fucking clue why anyone does anything. The only person I can accurately predict the behaviour of is myself, and that’s not even 100% guaranteed.

Also no longer relevant.

What is apparent, on the back of four and a bit hours sleep last night, is that’s I’m really getting to old for this ‘staying up all night’ shit. If I’m going to keep on top of everything I’ll need to plan far better and use all those latent organisational skills to good effect. I’m not about to start tearing the world up with You Tube subs or anything that impressive, but I can carve a niche. The trick is to stick to what I’m good at and to not try and cover anything I’ll feel uncomfortable with. Yeah, I’ve got this.

Cover me, I’m going in.