I should probably apologise for the increase in navel-contemplation over the last week, but personal circumstances are getting the better of me. Normally I’d have no issues in coming forward with details, but all of the issues in the last week are nothing to do with me and everything around other people who don’t deserve to have their stories massively publicised in an attempt to garner even more attention. Sometimes, it is not about drama. Let’s face it, that’s the way it should be most of the time, but that doesn’t stop the World and their extended family from shoving all manner of pointless guff all over the Interwebs.
Then when someone famous doesn’t do just that, everybody acts all surprised.
The concept of the reality star not having a pregnancy in public is so joyously refreshing as to belie current reality. Of course, now you’ll get all the edited highlights in a very well-planned, pre-packaged retro-applied lump, but the fact remains that this is a woman controlling her own life. That alone is worth the admission price. I wish more people would think about how they react to the rest of the world in this fashion without the desire just to have something up on Social media. Sometimes, it is as if even the sensible and sane individuals are just on autopilot and will post anything if it makes them look like they’re popular.
I am feeling the disconnect more than usual because, I know, emotionally I am broken. That makes the funny joke that is told over and over to death enough to make me throw mints at the screen, and to just shout at everything to go away… but the fix isn’t ignoring everybody else. That’s where I have to deal with myself. Having forced myself to do this in public for Time to Talk week last week, which coincided with the problems, to begin with, there now should be a quiet, organised withdrawal to distance to lick my wounds and move on. If you wonder why I’m acting a bit odd on Twitter in the next few weeks, or both poetry and prose appears extra angsty… well, now you know. Except there are no details, and that’s the way it’s going to stay.
Maybe one day I’ll feel comfortable enough to tell people the truth, but I doubt it.