Run To the Hills

Those of you who have followed me for some time will know that whenever a Time to Talk Day comes up, I’m all over the concept. That’s going to be particularly apposite this coming February, when the next event is scheduled: by then I hope to have begun my training as a Champion. The first meeting to begin that journey happened last Saturday, in my county’s main town. Needless to say, it’s changed quite a bit since I was there last.

I almost didn’t make it there at all.

Driving was fine, parking no problem. At the venue, there was an unexpected attack of nerves: walking into the meeting room, where one other person was already, made me feel unwell… and then I was in the bathroom, managing a potential panic attack. The reason for this, of course, was easily rationalised. Unfamiliar surroundings, people I didn’t know. I should have visited the venue earlier in the week to calm my fears.

Having come all that way, in the rain and wind… it would be foolish to just turn around and go home again. So, I walked back into the room… and now I’m so very glad I did. This is the first step of a journey that should have been started a long time ago: finally there’s confidence to stand with a group of people whose commitment and care is abundantly apparent. I can’t wait for formal training to start in January.

It also gives me an opportunity to consider what it is I’ll do for Time to Talk day 2020. I’ll want to do it online, of course, because that’s the place where I feel I can do the most good in terms of supporting people whilst assisting the process of obtaining the help and advice they’re looking for. I feel both poetry and imagery have a part to play in this… so I wonder, what can I do to pull myself out of comfort zones in the process?

There are some ideas in my planner. Watch this space for more details.

Supper’s Ready

There were a lot of plans made at the start of 2019: most were personal goals, attempts to improve cognitive process whilst pushing forward other important requirements, including health objectives. Superficially an idea existed to make Instagram less frightening and more a part of what can be done as a digital publisher. That started with the Places in Poetry Project, and last month took an important step forward.

Day 11 __ Religion

The #FaithIoW Project is a quantum leap forward from anything else that’s been produced for this form of Social media: for a start, people actually read and liked it. That alone sets it apart from anything else I’ve produced, barely scraping a handful of likes across entire runs of poems. We can have the discussion about popularity being unimportant until limbs fall off, but the fact remains that all exposure matters.

With no budget, starting small and being manageable are essential parts of the process: however, the business of habit forming becomes even more significant. Pick the right tags, push to the right audience, and just keep working. Produce your best output, continue to work and refine concepts, learn digital shortcuts and make the work itself shine not as someone else’s derivative content, but your own unique signature.

Day 3 __ Truth

Most importantly, every one of those 31 poems in October came straight from my soul, in a place of what is turning out to be pretty monumental change. As a result, this project has become a deeply personal, very important line in the sand: indicator not only of evolution, but a distinct shift in the landscape that surrounds this movement. You can find the images via my Instagram account, or in their new collective home on the website.

Feedback and comments are, as always, gratefully received.

Back to Life

As my birthday has come and gone this means there’s a week left until we’re into November. It would be useful, I think, to try and make a return to what used to be considered as Normal Service around these parts, but the loss of my PC yesterday (and the fact I’m typing this on a keyboard on my knees on the sofa) has rather put a crimp in proceedings. NO MATTER.

It is time to get this ramshackle shebang back on track.

isittimeyet

What that means is POETRY EVERY DAY (as has been successfully happening with my #FaithIoW prompts) but with perhaps a little more interactivity than was previously the case. It’s nice to have work every day on Instagram too, and 2020 will be when I try and make that platform work a bit harder for me than is previously the case. It is also high time we had some YouTube content back.

Then there’s the short stories: the last one from August was left hanging. What will happen in November is that will be reposted and completed, before we go into NEW WORK in December. Also, yes, I PROMISE. EX/WHI will be back once the NaNo gubbins is all done and dusted. I know only too well what happens when my brain becomes overloaded with narrative, it all goes horribly Pete Tong and nobody has time for that.

thatwouldbeme

However, the overriding priority right now is to get this keyboard off my knees and onto a desk. That’s being delivered tomorrow (reclaimed from a dusty industrial unit) and once the front room’s organised, the sky will indeed be the limit. My new wall awaits, ready for a wipe clean perpetual planner and a fucktonne of Post It Notes.

I am ready.

Inside my Head

Constant, rhythmic hum: this, good enough
door was locked, keys in bag
don’t panic; daily resonance
better existence with design
reminders Posted, multicoloured door
minutiae underpins each forward step
slow renaissance from perceived inept.

How lucky they all are, unbound
explanation not required, I’m sound
inside my head’s vast golden place
without bazillion checks, hard balances
foot to foot, Warrior’s stance contrives
expectant moment, incoming empire’s fall
from everything to absolutely none at all.

You have no clue how lucky you all are.

The End

It’s National Poetry Day and for the occasion I’ve produced a work that’s meant to go in a Tweet: it’s not like blogging is dead and buried but we all know that Social media is where it’s at (baby) with your handy graphics and hashtag accompaniment. This is the start however of something big: I am ready to write poetry on mental illness. Whether anybody is ready to read it is quite another matter, but that’s where the train’s now heading so HANG ON EVERYBODY.

 


I like the idea of truth as not just a positive: there’s bound to be a raft of feeling enlightened in the poetry today (for obvious reasons) but for me, truth is not necessarily freedom. It’s why the #IoWFaith project’s become a bit more important than was at first grasped: asking the difficult questions often provides unexpected answers. In my case, those solutions are an entry point to a larger, more complex set of discussion topics…

Also, I’m playing with the idea of animation for the first time. This is very generic, and templated. However, the possibilities moving forward are as limitless as both ability and imagination.

What can be made from my words, I wonder?

Regeneration

Tomorrow, as some of you may have noticed, is October. Because of unavoidable personal circumstances, none of the fiction that I wanted to enter for a major contest got done at the end of this month. It’s still sitting there now, taunting me with its unfinishedness. In this case, like it or not, reality beat aspiration.

We’ll deal with my demons, the anger that resulted plus what happens next on Wednesday. There’ll be an extra bonus post on Thursday too, to coincide with National Poetry Day (see above) which is in its 25th year. I’ve used this as a crowbar to insert myself back into the business of content too… so you get a general theme for October.

Faith

Because of my husband’s continued hospitalisation, and the pressures that has created, I’m not ready as yet to restart what was scheduled content. Instead (as as I’m doing a lot of travelling across my county at present) we’ll be taking photographs and using 31 single-word prompts as a means of generating poetry for the month of October.

This is inspired by the concept of Inktober (and it’s many derivations), which many of my artist friends will be taking part in starting tomorrow. That means finding 31 words that will challenge and inspire me to think not only about the subject matter, but how I find my own way through belief and understanding in an increasingly complex world.

You’ll see Thursday 3rd’s word is Truthwhich is the theme for National Poetry Day.

31 Faith Prompts.png

I’m looking forward to flexing my creative muscles for this project, with the first few days worth of output already in the scheduling queue. You’ll see the posts on Instagram and my Twitter feed (both @Internetofwords) at 9am and 5pm GMT respectively. This will also give me some much needed time to get back up to speed with my ‘normal content’ which I hope to restart late in October.

I look forward to hearing your feedback and thoughts.

Noises Off

So I promised a review of Thursday’s gig. I’m tempted to do it in rhyme, but my brain’s pretty much fried after the stress of last week, coupled with this week’s workload. So, in the absence of actual ability…?

Bullet points, go!

  • The Chalkwell venue is cracking, I hadn’t realised just how welcoming and conducive to performance it is. The acoustics are lovely (no mike needed) and so that was the first hurdle successfully overcome.
  • I got there ridiculously early so everything could be scoped out and walked around, thus assuaging my location anxiety (which is considerable) allowing brain and body to feel comfortable (which they then did.)
  • There was the chance to go first. I’ll always go first. Last is torture. Headline acts need to start early, and support can do the later shit. This needs to become a Thing.
  • One poem ( [Fifty]: /Two ) went down incredibly well. Randomly, people came and complimented me. This was a surprise my brain was not actually ready for. I’m still not over that joy.

Official pictures will appear later this week and when they do I’ll update the front page: needless to say I am VERY happy with how everything turned out. Time will be spent this weekend getting a Residency application sorted out. It is time to take my Internet Poetry Opus to the next level with some space and time: using the space as a means to plan the way forward.

I’m also reasonably confident this content is enough off the beaten track to be interesting as a pitch, with the work pretty much complete as is. What I’d like is the opportunity to perform it, with some audio visual accompaniment, and that will need space and time to plan and organise. Needless to say, it’s gotta be worth a try and if it fails, I’ll do it anyway.

This is, of course, how End of the Fear came into being in the first place.

fistpump.gif

Needless to say I’m pretty excited about the fact that in 2019, I’ve performed my poetry live at three different venues. 

Who knows what 2020 will bring…