Slave to the Rhythm

This time next week, I’ll already be on holiday. Before that happens, however, there are some plans being rearranged. There’s also some other things that it would be lovely to start working on. The biggest single problem, undoubtedly, is time. Most carers will tell you that if you’re parent first and writer second, the latter will always take precedent because of the importance of individual responsibility.

Therefore you find time, whenever you can. 

After counselling, my attitude to a lot of things has inevitably altered, process that is still being considered and refined as time goes on. Sometimes it seems amazing that I finished that journey only five and a bit weeks ago: it feels like months, years since that ended. The reorganisation of factors has also presented both benefit and disadvantage. I know what needs to be done however. In that regard, nothing really has altered at all.

wonderland.gif

It does feel like a trip into Wonderland, when all is said and done: doing a weekend in Leeds, re-organising my leisure time, having confidence to stand up and be honest about what bothers me. The plan, going forward, was to do a certain set of things in a particular order, but the reality is that there isn’t enough time available to do so. Therefore, the plan has changed.

Vanity projects have become considerably more important.

I don’t want to talk any more about it just yet, not until I’ve been able to work it what it is I want to do and how it happens. However, there’s a lead in now available in mid-September to this next phase of existence, and that’s what I’m going to aim for. After that, it’s all about how well my knowledge will spread to accomplish what then needs to happen.

If this does work, I’ll be really very happy indeed.

Ballroom Blitz

This weekend, for the first time for a while, I willingly wrote some poems.

All around me, almost constantly, is the reminder of ‘it’s not what you know but who you know’ that makes the difference. I could try and pretend it isn’t that way but like it or not, this is part of your rite of passage, in whatever new fandom you find yourself working within. Call it a community, commune, movement or any number of other adjectives to describe a bunch if people with a similar interest. Needless to say, you’re in fandom.

Entering the Poetry Fandom in my early 50’s is quite intimidating, but this is not unusual. There are lots of women doing this, I even read an article about some of them. The key to escaping mediocrity’s gravity is to get published or lucky on Social media. Both need a phenomenal amount of work. I’ve only really been at this for a shade under two years. That’s no time at all, and there’s this continuous reminder, day in and day out, that I’m not doing enough.

Fuck me, woman, you only just got started.

I’m ready to work again: there’s a personal project being tinkered with starting this week (once I have a residency proposal sent off to the local art collective) plus the normal run of creative outputs, but let’s be honest, none of this is keeping me in chocolate and new trousers, so it is time to see if the Dial a Rhyme service might have some merit. Honestly, what’s the worse that could happen?

On top of this, there’s a bunch of other things happening, at least one of which is deeply personal. I gotta hope that doesn’t derail everything else, but it’s always a chance. That’s the thing with life, you never know what’s going to happen next. So, do you sit and wait for opportunities to come drop into your lap, or do you get yourself out there, waving your wares to the World, in the vain hope that something might stick?

This new career isn’t going to fashion itself. Down to the business of shameless self-promotion.

The Big Sky

I absolutely live for days like yesterday: a ‘mutual’ (as I believe is the correct term) pointed out this film, with a poetry basis, and after some online faffing there’s a .PDF of the massive poem (144 pages of A4) to digest. Once I got past the realisation my narrator refers to the Earth as Doris (apparently this was the name of an area in Ancient Greece and not the woman who used to be friends with my grandmother) it all settled down to be quite gripping fare. The great thing about this, undoubtedly, is that I had no idea the thing even existed on Monday.

This is where learning new things really comes into its own.

channel.jpg

That’s also why today, as I promised with this being (effectively) a light month for me creatively, that it is time to use the skills initially learnt in my teens to produce some visual work to go with my written only output. I’ve seen what’s possible with a phone and some brains, and as I possess both, it is high time both were used. Consider this a cottage industry, adjunct to my current output. It will give variety to the workload and much needed colour to the feed.

Most importantly there are vague ideas of what this is all going to be about. Once I’ve had some time to play with equipment, we’ll see where we are. I’m planning to start presenting work in April. Then, all things being equal, we’ll see if we can’t sort out doing some kind of art/poetry project in the Summer. It’ll look nicer outside, there’ll be more time to go and film stuff, plus by then there should be enough confidence with the nuts and bolts. I trained how to do this in practice, now to see what is remembered.

day-14

Needless to say, Watch this Space.