I’m beginning the slow process of returning myself to full ‘working’ capability this week, which means if you are subbed to the Newsletter that accompanies this website, you’ll be getting a message in your Inbox tomorrow offering you FREE STUFF. For now, however, the last seven days have been about forward motion, plus setting up new processes for our restart in September.
I don’t allow myself nearly enough time to dream any more, and being the kind of person who can rationalize failure before there’s even a chance for success is a pretty decent means by which all joy can be sucked from situations. However, with my work turning up on a Podcast this weekend, it does feel a lot like I’m making clear, unassailable progress. Even I’d struggle to make this anything more than a win, so this then begs the question of what to do next.
There’s been a piece this week that’s pushed mind and body out of the comfort zone as a result: it’s part prose poetry, part pure poem, and covers a part of my life I don’t really talk about very much, mostly because I’ve never really thought about it that much. Doing so this week therefore has been an exercise in using my newly-found objectivity to rationalize what was one of the most frightening experiences of my life. As it transpires, that also makes for quite interesting reading.
It also allows me to think about a return to Podcasting, which I’ve really rather missed. Let’s see if I can persuade enough people next month that I’m worth both the time and the support…
I’m supposed to be having a couple of weeks off, but instead there is a compulsion to write here for the first time in a while. The reasons are complex, and will be discussed in other places as time goes on, but for now, this is the moment to start laying foundations down for new ventures. As that happens, it is also the moment to consider how far I have come.
For the last thirty-nine weeks, I’ve captured myself on video explaining my plans going forward, and this undoubtedly has contributed to an ability to rationalize beyond what was there to begin with. The fortieth video will launch on a new platform, having finally removed myself from Patreon. Ironically, it was their own fault it happened. I was given the opportunity to join a marketing course, which showed me how to sell the ‘brand’ better.
This is not a brand, and never will be. I am a perennial work in progress, and trying to promote that on a platform which only sees fulfilment and cash as success really was doomed to failure. As a transactional person at heart, there needs to be a balance between what is truth and what is the line that won’t be crossed. It was therefore inevitable the relationship would end after it was obvious the company’s values and mine did not align.
I was sent a brand survey last week that was the last straw, and I made my displeasure known. Also, I didn’t sign up to win the $100 gift card because the exchange rate is woeful, part of a far bigger issue.
This week I’m going out with the youngest, will be taking photos everywhere, and hope to get some back end work fixed in an environment which is considerably more conducive than it was. Mostly, I need to be organized better, which is the perennial demon to appease. At least now that’s grasped, there are other things to talk about.
#Instaverse will be back in September, but so will occasional posting here too on personal issues.
I try, as a rule, not to wipe people out with walls of text: nobody really cares about three lines in anyway. So, let’s make this short, sweet and to the point.
If I was pledging to you as a Patreon Creator, I’ve cancelled my pledge as of this morning. It’s 100% absolutely not you. I have run out of money, and can no longer sustain pledging to anybody is the main reason, but the secondary one is that I’ve effectively had enough of Patreon. As a creator, it no longer caters to my needs, which are making more money for me and not for them.
I have to be blunt here: without more cash, it’s becoming unsustainable to keep going. I’d make more money stacking shelves in a supermarket, even after tax. So, it’s time to relocate and change the game plan, in the hope I can get more support and more of that support in my pocket and less in someone else’s.
Therefore, starting September 1st, all my content moves to Ko-Fi.
July both started and finished as something of a personal disaster area for me, and so inevitably my work ended up suffering. Therefore, the decision was taken to call a halt to the #Instaverse, by which time I could not find the means by which to reintroduce them successfully back into my workflow.
August was always planned to be a month off (as there is no Short Story, either), and that’s still very much the case going forward. Therefore, the daily poetry is now scheduled to return on Monday, September 6th, which will also include the by now standard audio accompaniment.
Thank you for your understanding, and I’ll see you in a few weeks.
I watched someone this week perform poetry about an event so personal and clearly upsetting that it moved them almost to tears. This is not the first time I’ve seen this happen, either. How are these people capable of conveying their pain and drama so effectively? Will I ever get there myself…
I’ve lost a lot of friends over the years, a lot of which is to do with my own shortcomings. However, now I have lots of new friends who are more understanding of what I am, and what that means. The truth is lots of things to different people. Knowing when to move on is an important life skill.
This week, my night before writing schedule was pretty seriously fecked: by trips out, then football, and then inescapable fatigue. Therefore, we recorded them all, one after the other, starting here with a poem as a reminder that Endless Time is not my luxury, and so maybe extracting the digit and getting on with stuff is a better idea…